"...The chemical I am putting in myself is synthetic
testosterone: a substance that has become such a metaphor for manhood
that it is almost possible to forget that it has a physical reality.
Twenty years ago, as it surged through my pubescent body, it deepened my
voice, grew hair on my face and chest, strengthened my limbs, made me a
man. So what, I wonder, is it doing to me now?"
"...At that point I weighed around 165 pounds. I now weigh 185
pounds. My collar size went from a 15 to a 17 1/2 in a few months; my
chest went from 40 to 44. My appetite in every sense of that word
expanded beyond measure. Going from napping two hours a day, I now
rarely sleep in the daytime and have enough energy for daily workouts
and a hefty work schedule. I can squat more than 400 pounds.
Depression, once a regular feature of my life, is now a distant
"...The Big T correlates with energy, self-confidence,
competitiveness, tenacity, strength and sexual drive. When you talk to
men in testosterone therapy, several themes recur. "People talk
about extremes," one man in his late 30's told me. "But that's
not what testosterone does for me. It makes me think more clearly. It
makes me think more positively. It's my Saint Johnswort." A man in
his 20's said: "Usually, I cycle up the hill to my apartment in
12th gear. In the days after my shot, I ride it easily in 16th." A
40-year-old executive who took testosterone for bodybuilding purposes
told me: "I walk into a business meeting now and I just exude
self-confidence. I know there are lots of other reasons for this, but my
company has just exploded since my treatment. I'm on a roll. I feel
capable of almost anything."